UnNews:Fed Raises Interest Rates

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28 March 2006

Earlier Today, at about 4:00, just after tea time, the US Federal Reserve announced that it was to raise interest rate to about 4.75%. This sparked controversy in many macroeconomic circles, worried that 4.75% (about 14047371 people to you and me) would bring far too many people into such high-intellectual circles, lowering steady the EIG (Economic Intellectual Growth) rate to lower than 2.5%. This is, however, disputed by others, who believe that raising the interest rates would lower an already spiralling downwards intelligence levels - at their lowest since 1961.

This has been the highest interest rates have been since Octember 2001, which were raised to combat an exaggerated inflationary system, since then the AOL (Average Obesity Level) has fallen in line with the current administration's plans for the next 3 years. Rising steadily up by 1.0% over the last 24 months, the interest levels are the amount of people interested in any complex economic (or monetary political or legal) issues that normally are set beyond the common mans reach. In 1932, however, the interest levels reached catastrophic levels, with three school failures on the Supreme Court, and the Federal Reserve head then was a homeless person who "looked the part".

Recently, with the outgoing of Fed Chief Abraham Lincoln, and the arrival of new chief Ben Bernanke, people have speculating about what really goes on behind closed doors, but at a conference addressing 'The New York Club of Economics', Mr. Bernanke brushed the subject underneath the carpet. All Americans can hope for is that this new rise does not have any unforeseen consequences.