This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
18 June 2010
JUAREZ, Mexico -- The American FBI and Mexican special forces stormed a combination whorehouse, drug warehouse and faux lesbian holding facility in a joint operation aimed at reducing the drug and faux lesbian-related violence on both sides of their border.
In four hour shoot-out, 63 cartel "soldiers" and administration were killed, with 12 captured. The Federales sustained 2 fatalities and 13 wounded, with the Americans following up closely with 3 killed and 2 wounded. The operation recovered 2 tons of cocaine, 97 stolen vehicles, and 16 women in various stages of preparation for faux lesbian bondage and discipline encounters.
In a story earlier this month, UnNews:Republican party chairman plays tit for tat, UnNews was first to break the story of strong political ties between rich, entitled faux lesbians and the Republican Party. Confiscated documents have now shed light on a third leg of this cozy relationship between power bases; Mexicos most powerful drug cartel.
Forensic accountants have already uncovered a vast conspiracy of politicians, car thieves, drug dealers, sex workers, and morticians. It is believed that the enterprise took in 40 million dollars a week in cash, much of which had to be laundered in Hong Kong. At the Asian end of the operation, one of the infamous Chinese Triads took in their cut, sanitizing cash and recycling untraceable money into the cartel.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|