UnNews:Farmers seek advice on "culling pikeys and gypsies"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
4 July 2008
THE NATIONAL FARMERS' UNION is taking legal advice after the government decided to halt plans for the culling of travellin gypsies in England. Environment Minister Hilary Benn has refused to confirm an Unnews report that ministers will reject recommendations to initiate a cull of 34% of the current population of travelling gypsies.
The NFU said any such descision would be "disastrous news", fearing that by 2010 gypsies would be "overunning the country side with their mongrel dogs and black magick". Farmers have long called for a cull, but gypsy groups have claimed that any such cull may well be classed as murder.
Somerset farmer Fred Marlemow, laughed off the assertions of the gypsies as being 'human', "ooo-ahhh, them there pikey blaggards aint no human, if you had to smell em on a sunny August afternoon you would wanna shoot the bastards too, nae mistake!"
In the last cull, in 2003 some 4,000 travelling gypsies were culled, mainly in the south-west of England, which was up nearly 18% on the previous cull in 1999. The NFU claims that if left unchecked, the continued influx of gypsies would cost the government £1bn.
According to Lord Crab, the incidence of travelling gypsies is increasing very slowly, and he believes that the "scum" could be brought under control through limited "selected, controlled and authorised culls".
"With fox hunting banned, pikey hunts could be the next big thing for the landed gentry by jove!"