UnNews:Far right dissolve European Parliment
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Far right dissolve European Parliment
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, August 26, 2016, 10:35:UTC)(
8 June 2009
12:00, undisclosed location -- Labour camps are being set up across Europe as Far-right parties achieved landslide victories throughout the European elections and dissolved the EU parliament. The announcement of the results came a few hours ago and left Europe reeling.
Dutch prime minister, Geert Wilders, expressed joy as his party went from a small majority to complete control. In the UK, Nick Griffin, head of the MRP (Massive Racists Party) vowed to "protect Britain's indigenous peoples from all the nasty foreigners" as his party came in top of the poles.
Within hours of the results, the far right had assembled in Brussels and formed the 'white futures' block. The block, which had voting control over the rest of the EU parliament, then put through a number of acts including the 'go back home' act and the 'if you cant go home then get to work' act, which was the spark for the labour camps which are currently being reported. They then dissolved the EU and returned to their respective countries, each vowing never to set a foot on 'scummy foreign soil' or speak to each other again.
Since then, communications have been shut down with only underground reports coming through. In the UK, the national ID card database, along with the countries extensive CCTV network, is being used to efficiently locate and round up ethnic minorities. It has been rumoured that the entire of France is being converted to a workhouse and numerous Tesco lorries have been reportedly seen crossing the channel tunnel.
As all troops have been withdrawn from the Middle East, we advise that anyone fleeing the current ethnic cleansing in Europe heads for Iraq. There are plenty of bombed out and abandoned buildings to shelter in.
We will hopefully be able to bring you more news in the near future. For now, the advice to those in Europe is stay inside. In the words of Nick Griffin, "The future's bright but involves no orange, yellow or black". White facepaints are advised for anyone venturing outdoors. Even if you are white already, we recommend a touch up. With the support of US president Obama, Asda/Walmart is currently offering a 3 for 2 offer on facemasks and foundation.
- Truman Capote "EU Parliament dissolved, ethnic cleansing on the rise". Bristol Evening Post, June 8, 2009