UnNews:Fans, celebrities celebrate Tron Blu-ray release
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
7 April 2011
INTERNET, The Grid -- Tron fever is in full swing. On Tuesday, Disney released the long-awaited nerdgasms, 1982's Tron and 2010's Tron: Legacy, on Blu-ray in several different configurations. Both films were released in individual Blu-ray/DVD combo packs; Tron was released in a Blu-ray/ HD-DVD/ DVD/ VHS/ Betamax/ LaserDisc combo pack; Legacy was released in a Blu-ray/DVD combo pack, Blu-ray 3D/ Blu-ray 2D/ Blu-ray 1D/ HD-DVD/ DVD/ VHS/ Beta/ LaserDisc/ eight-track/ vinyl record combo pack, and an all-in-one package with both films together with or without a limited edition identity disc -- which is nothing more than the upteenth copy of Journey's Greatest Hits.
As with any major nerdgasmic life-changing event, fans and celebrities alike participated in the Tron festivities. The discs flew off the shelves of every store in America, and more copies are being shipped to meet demands. Blockbuster has run out of copies to rent for the time being. And the discs occupy the entire top ten bestselling DVDs and Blu-rays this week. It is the only title on the lists of this week's bestselling VHS, Beta, LaserDisc, and HD-DVD.
The top five bestselling eight tracks this week are:
- Tron: Legacy
- Iron Butterfly, In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
- Boston, Boston
- Jimi Hendrix, Electric Ladyland
- The Who, Quadrophenia
The top five bestselling vinyls this week include:
- Britney Spears, Femme Fatale
- Tron: Legacy
- Lady Gaga, Born This Way
- Cee Lo Green, Fuck You
- Cee Lo Green, Fuck Her, Too
|#TRON What is the "Two" of "Two and a Half Men" doing on #Tron Day? Duh, #FLYNNING! I'm hooked on a new drug, it's called #Kevin Flynn. It will transport you into a computer world and de-rez you. It will de-age you to make you look like @jeffbridges in Against All Odds. Or was it @kurtrussell? Scary stuff.|
He ended the Tweet with a GIMP'd image of himself wearing a cheap, homemade Tron outfit. The image was artfully colorized to match the 1982 film. Never has the Tron term "user" been more appropriate.
The Obamas dressed up in the Tron costumes for the entire day; they slept in them the night before, showered with them, went to school in them, went to meetings in them, ate in them, raced to Best Buy with them, and slept with them again.
Britney Spears celebrated by grabbing a copy from Best Buy, humming the scores by Wendy Carlos and Daft Punk, respectively, even though they sounded more like The Dark Knight score by Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard. She raced home, popped it in the Blu-ray player, and Tweeted:
|@tronlegacy Hey, why the fuck won't the disc play? Wait, I put the #3D one in by mistake. Whoopsie, y'all! It's working now. I love 1080p Blu-ray HD. Kurt Russell is sexy in this.|
Spears has been re-tweeted 25 times so far.
"It's a phenomenon," says a Wal-Mart manager from Wisconsin. "The fanboys are just eating it up. We've seen huge sells for movies starring that Todd Bridges guy, even True Grit, although it's the John Wayne original. I mean, Todd Bridges movies like In the Air Tonight, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Braveheart, The Large Tchaikovsky, and Big Trouble in Little China. Tex and Tex: Legacy are probably the bestselling Disney titles right now."
Los Angeles Best Buy manager Steve says, "There's just something about Jeff Bridges that really resonates with people. He's not just The Dude anymore; he's a two-time Academy Award winner. The original Tron was groundbreaking in 1982, there was never anything like it. Nowadays, Hollywood is oversaturated with CGI, and this film has become a cult classic over time. The sequel is quite groundbreaking, too, if only because they de-aged Jeff Bridges to look like Kurt Russell. I haven't seen a movie sell out this fast since the double whammy of the Back to the Future and Alien movies back in October. Something like this only comes around once in a blue, de-rezzed moon."
- Alan Bradley "Dragonslayer and The Black Cauldron starring Beau Bridges dominating HD-DVD sales". The HD Room, April 06, 2011