UnNews:Family talk about man like he isn't there
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Family talk about man like he isn't there
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, December 1, 2015, 01:12:UTC)(
9 December 2006
Chen, who recently married his co-worker Rebecca Ashford, was invited over to the Ashford Home to eat dinner with inlaws Hank and Davey Ashford. The dinner was uncomfortable from the beginning, as Chen overheard father-in-law Hank muttering racist comments to himself as he brought the wine from the refridgerator.
"You want some wine, James?" inquired the father-in-law, to which Chen replied "No, thank you, I'm driving." Grunting to himself, Hank was heard to say under his breath, "mothering fucking piece-of-shit bastard". Raising his voice, he then shouted to his son, Davey, "Ain't that right, boy?". "Yeah, dad. Yeah" he replied.
"I wasn't really sure what to do," Chen later explained. "Becca's [his wife] dad isn't particularly nice." According to Chen, the evening grew steadily more uncomfortable as it went on.
"I don't know why she married this cocksucker," said the father-in-law, "I mean, how old is this guy, anyway?". His son nodded and mumbled in agreement as Chen sat quietly. "Fag." continued Hank. According to Chen, his brother-in-law Davey then got up and left. There followed a 7-minute silence before Hank left, leaving Chen to sob quietly in the dark.
"I will not be returning there," said Chen. "I don't know how Becca turned out so wonderful, with a family like that. I should ask her if she is adopted." Reports from various third-party sources confirm that Chen's wife is already having an affair with Lexington tow-truck driver Chet Amarillo.