UnNews:Family beats up principal over boy's grades
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
8 March 2007
NEW YORK, NY - Three male members of a notorious Mafia family beat up the principal of a middle school in New York City after 12-year-old John Gotti III received poor grades and was forbidden to use his cellular telephone during a final examination in mathematics.
The three male relatives included the boy’s father, John Gotti, Jr., the alleged leader of the Gambino crime family. “My boy needed a little help on his math test, conjugating the hypotenuse of a molecular bond or something,” Gotti said, “but the principal refused to let him use his cell phone, so the math professor we hired couldn’t provide the assistance my son needed. We had to teach the scumbag a lesson.”
Principal Ugo Castorina of the Lombardi Middle School suffered three broken limbs, a cracked vertebra, and multiple contusions about the neck and shoulders. “The son-of-a-bitch is lucky to be alive,” Gotti contended, adding that he has put a “contract out on him.”
"What can I say?" Gotti asked. "I'm a concerned parent."
After the principal was treated at a local hospital, police escorted the badly shaken administrator back to the middle school over which he has presided for 22 years. “Some people may not like it,” Castorina told Unnews’ reporter, Lotta Lies, “but standards must be set and rules must be respected if a school is to function.”
“I have some standards and rules for him” Gotti declared. “The cops can’t be with him 24-7.”
Reportedly, having heard Gotti’s threats to his life, Principal Castorina is reconsidering his ban on cell phones and may even rescind the school’s practice of testing and grading students altogether.
“He’s a smart guy,” Gotti said of Castorina’s statement. “He learns fast. Maybe he‘ll be the principal there for another 22 years yet.”
- Lotta Lies "It’s street smarts vs. book learning as Gotti takes on his son’s middle school principal". Instant News, 22 seconds ago