UnNews:Falling sheep strike cars in Australia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
1 June 2012
MELBOURNE, Australia -- Cars, pedestrians and even a football player were struck by falling sheep late Thursday afternoon when a huge wedge-shaped UFO hovered over the southern Australian city of Melbourne.
The UFO flew over the highway and a stadium in western Melbourne about 4:00 pm local time. Hundreds of black and white sheep fell from the alien craft, raining down like salt and pepper and were left scattered in two areas.
At least six cars, two motorcycles, a van, and the roof of a BP gas station on the South Prince Highway inbound lanes were damaged beyond repair. A 69-year-old man over a pedestrian overpass was taken to the hospital where -- he was pronounced alive and well.
An American-style football game at the nearby Melbourne American Academy was also interrupted when sheep fell on one of the players. The principal of the school, Chris Baker, reported to have seen two sheep fall from the sky landing on the player, and a empty section of the seats.
Only twenty-one people including a truck driver, a nun, a food wagon driver, a family of three, and the player were assessed at the scene and escaped injury. An Ambulance Victoria spokeswoman was astounded nobody was seriously hurt.
“It’s bizarre,” she said. “But it just shows how ingenious, benign, careful and considerate extraterrestrials really are in waste disposal.”
Attempts to move the pile of sheep with heavy bulldozers were unsuccessful. The sheep were so heavily stacked specifically around a highway overpass and inside the stadium that the piles were too difficult to move. Even a imported Chinese snowplow, the Liushan 600-X (one of the biggest snowplows in the world) proved little success.
Traffic slowed to a two-lane crawl, with many cars slowing down for a look as they passed the scene. The raining sheep caused significant delays and motorists were warned not to look and to forget it ever happened.
Police and witnesses believe it was simply an Extraterrestrial UFO dumping the carcasses of dissected animals, but the Australian government and the Men in Black denied the entire event. "You didn’t read this. You never were. According to the Western media, if it happened at all it must be blamed on the bogus and sadistic Syrian government or any terrorist group – bent as they are on seeking blame and shame to imperil their very existence. Anyway, i did your mom." said a agent for the group.
This has not been the only reported sighting of raining sheep from UFOs. Recently, 250 sheep have been reported to have fallen during daylight from a saucer-shaped UFO in a small town in Venezuela. 18 people were injured, and many buildings were destroyed including a newly-built car factory. President Hugo Chavez quoted "This has been a attack by the American imperialists."