UnNews:Facebook on the verge of Wall Street collapse?

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Straight talk, from straight faces

23 May 2012

Falling Graph

Don't worry I'm sure I can make the ummm billions I invested up again.

New York City, USA -- Days after Facebook founder Mark Zuckerburg got married to his long time girlfriend, Facebook is now celebrating one of the worst opening three days on Wall Street, well ever. Was it because nobody knows about his company? Was it because it's just far too out there to have an internet company on the Dow Jones or was it because at $38 (US) a share nobody in their right mind would buy them? The speculation continues.

Facebook's total lack of success has single handedly dragged the Dow Jones index down 100 points overnight and is on the verge of collapse in the record breaking time of 4 days. Those who did buy shares are already planning out their financial situation and arming the lawyers with the three Ls: Lies, law breaking and loopholes. Zuckerburg may be forced to compensate those rich buggers, causing total collapse of the company and a cruel hoard of withdrawal symptoms for one hundred million users.

So will facebook bounce back as every company usually does or will its downward spiral continue until the shares are worth no more than the pennies under the vending machine in the lobby. Spelling financial ruin for all parties involved, the collapse of Western civilization upon everyone on the site having to find something better to do and esblishing a new world record of fastest wall street collapse on record! Only time will tell, but stay vigilant as we all know with the sharemarket, anything could happen!

Personal tools
projects