UnNews:Facebook gives the 'heads up' to nipple-free decapitation videos
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Facebook gives the 'heads up' to nipple-free decapitation videos
A newsstand that's brimming with issues
Thursday, January 19, 2017, 21:59:UTC)(
22 October 2013
SAN FRANCISCO, USA -- Facebook are allowing users to post videos of people having their heads cut off but only if the 'no nipples' rule is followed. In a surprise move, Facebook said they were re-instating the links as they had proved that 'people can't get enough of the gory stuff' and that it would help boost Facebook's hits.
Facebook Chief executive Mark Zuckerberg said the change was in-line with his company's guidelines when it came to making money:Make More Money. He said the company would insist only that anyone taking part in the videos to keep their underwear on but all weapons can be displayed openly and used. He explained:
"Look, this stuff is already all over the internet. Here on Facebook we can save people time clicking on other links and find them here a lot quicker. People will be able to tick 'like' as they do with anything else like Your Favourite Music or a skateboarding duck and we will also ask people to be truthful when they tick the 'I am Over 18, I Like Real Gore and I am glad I won't be forced to look at bare breasts' option when they log in. I don't know what the fuss is about. Our ancestors were quite happy to watch Christians torn apart by lions or heretics burnt at the stake. I don't see a difference."
Facebook insiders say the decision reverses an earlier one when the company did ban these videos links. However fears that Google were about to launch a 'Google Gruesome' channel offering similar fare were denied by that company.
NEWS UPDATE: Facebook cuts those links again. Gore fans look elsewhere.