UnNews:Facebook arrested for murder of Email
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Facebook arrested for murder of Email
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, September 3, 2015, 06:48:UTC)(
16 November 2010
Though Facebook lawyer Mark Zuckerberg didn't go as far as declaring email's murder unimportant, he sees the 40-year-old technology as secondary to more seamless, faster ways of communicating such as text messages and chats.
In other words, Facebook murdered Email out of hate.
"We don't think a modern messaging system is going to be email anyway," Zuckerberg said at in court. "It's not email."
Allthough Email will be dearly missed, Facebook has declared that it will create a newer messaging system while serving time in jail.
The new platform, which will be rolled out to users in the coming months, integrates cell phone texts, chats, e-mail and the existing Facebook messages.
Facebook faces 10 years in jail, but not a life sentence, because Email was pretty shit anyway.
- Staff "It's not email, says Mark Zuckerberg, as Facebook rolls out its 'not Gmail killer'". news.com.au, November 16, 2010