UnNews:FIFA: Brazil to win World Cup
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
19 June 2014
The world governing body of Football, Soccer, Non-Aquatic Diving and Pitch Amateur Dramatics, have admitted that they are 'banking' on the Brazil football team to go all the way and win the trophy next month, as they fear that otherwise they may be lynched. FIFA's President-for-Life Sepp 'Bent Spoon' Blatter was caught tweeting that emergency arrangements have been made in case Brazil cock it up and lose along the way.
Under the hashtag
#Seppy, Blatter had privately tweeted all the officials and sponsors involved with the staging and managing of the event to ensure they have packed a clean pair of underpants and a toothbrush if the Brazil team get knocked out before the final.
"Brazil in 1950 booked their victory celebrations winning the World Cup," tweeted Blatter. "Uruguay won it. FIFA are not going to allow that to happen again!"
Blatter denied sending the tweet and claimed it was a fake account set up by the hateful English Media out to smear him. The World Cup has already cost Brazil $44 trillon, but if its team lose, many in FIFA expect to at least lose their trousers in the subsequent armed uprising.
- Staff "Brazilian demonstrations against money spent on World Cup". The Guardian, June 19, 2014