UnNews:FDA reduces dosage of sleeping pill

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FDA reduces dosage of sleeping pill

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16 May 2014

Mickey Pill

Like lighter fluid and laundry detergent, it was inevitable that the U.S. government would find the popular pill was too effective.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has cut in half the dosage of a popular sleeping pill.

The FDA said the dose of Lunesta will be cut to 2mg to 1mg, after the agency received reports that users of the sleeping pill, the next morning, were sleepy. A control group taking a placebo was not sleepy after waking up in the morning, the FDA said, excepting certain individuals whose neighbors own bulldozers. Patients are often too sleepy to realize they are sleepy, the agency added.

Manufacturer Sunovion Pharmaceuticals, based in Marlborough, Massachusetts, will alter the labels on bottles of Lunesta. The company is owned by Asian conglomerate Dainippon Sumitomo Pharma, where a swarthy, foreign-looking spokesman said with a wink that no one could keep patients from gobbling down two of the small pills in place of one of the discontinued big pills. An industry spokesman said former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg had the same problem after outlawing the fattening, 32-ounce "Big Gulp" sugary drinks, as New Yorkers seeking to become obese simply purchased two Small Gulps. Experts have recommended marking pill-poppers' thumbs with purple ink, a procedure familiar to voters in Iraq.

Thursday's announcement follows a similar action last year that affected Ambien, zolpidem, eszopiclone, lorem ipsum, etcetera. The announcement also follows the 9-11 attacks and the birth of Christ. Regarding the finding that a popular sleeping pill led to undesired sleepiness, FDA's Dr. Ellis Unger stated, "Well, duh!"

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