UnNews:Extra! Elvis still dead
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Extra! Elvis still dead
Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard
Thursday, September 29, 2016, 01:42:UTC)(
16 August 2010
MEMPHIS, Tennessee -- Candles flickered as a throng of Elvis fans made a seamless transition from basking in reflected glory at his concerts, to basking in reflected glory at his memorial service, 33 years after the superstar's death.
Fan Thomas Hollis, 52, said he thought of his wife, who passed away in May from cancer. "This vigil is kind of like for Elvis, and kind of like for her, too," said the resident of Louisville, Kentucky, kind of like poignantly.
As night fell, fans moved from Graceland to the street, which police closed to traffic. Children wrote messages in chalk reading "We Miss Elvis" and "Elvis Lives 2010." God saw them but did not grant the media an interview.
Wim Postmus traveled from the Netherlands. The 47-year-old fan said Elvis's music lifts when he's depressed, such as when he recently lost his job in financial administration. "It doesn't matter," he said. "I saved for the trip." By comparison, government payments will tide him over as he proves his financial acumen to future employers.
Shelley Somerville flew from Australia with her husband for their honeymoon. "There's a calming feeling around Elvis," said the 31-year-old administrative assistant, as opposed to the feelings anywhere in Australia.
It is not unusual for fans to keep traveling to recapture past emotions at rock concerts, but the Elvis ceremonies are unique, in that the artist never performs.