UnNews:Extended, continuous cocaine use is good for death

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6 July 2008

Hey man you know I'm good for it I'll get you right back on Friday as soon as I get work plus I've got another buddy coming into town this Monday so I'll get you back for sure because he's a real player that one, you know what I'm saying- he's full of cash man, he'll hook me up. The bank owes me one too, man- shit! - is that blow? you have shit on you? oh man just cut me a little line man, all I need is a little line what's your name again? I'll do anything, dude, you're a god, just cut me a line- fuck!

Tolling Bell, Heavy Metal Album In spite of recent glowing reports by enthusiastic first time cocaine users featured in all reliable news sources worldwide, an army of undead has risen to ask for one more hit, because they are "good for it" in spite of clearly being animated skeletons caught in the cycle of addiction.

"Attack those soulless wretches!" declared various anonymous drug kingpins in unison, insuffulating vast amounts of refined Peruvian cocaine in order to march up and down mountains without getting sleepy, the drugs traditional use.