UnNews:Exclusive: Lou Dobbs to Be Deported
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.|
27 July 2009
WASHINGTON DC -- A senior Obama administration official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, has just told UnNews that Lou Dobbs will soon be deported by the US Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS).
"Obama is frankly quite tired of being harrassed by Mr. Dobbs about his birth certificate. We have long known that Dobbs is actually a Mexican national, but we were hoping it would never come to this," said the official.
Over the past few weeks, Dobbs has stirred controversy by claiming that Obama has never released a birth certificate, and therefore may not be a US citizen. When shown a copy of the birth certificate released by the campaign last year, Dobbs claimed he could not see the document. "What's that? It looks like some kind of weird optical illusion. I can't see it! Every time I try, the whole world gets blurry." Dobbs then passed out on the air.
"Why haven't we seen his birth certificate?," he asked again, after regaining consciousness. "And why does my forehead hurt? It seems these questions won't go away!"
Officials say a series of photos yet to be released will provide proof that Dobbs is actually famed Mexican revolutionary Pancho Villa, the first of which is pictured here. "He's just trying to stir up trouble here, like he did in Mexico," said the anonymous official. "We're going to make sure he doesn't get away with it."
At the time of this story, Mr. Dobbs could not be reached for comment.
- Joe Garafoli "CNN tells Lou Dobbs that Obama birth certificiate story is "dead" -- sort of". sfgate.com, July 24,2009