UnNews:Ex-President Appears in War Crimes Case
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Ex-President Appears in War Crimes Case
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, August 4, 2015, 16:22:UTC)(
3 April 2006
Washington DC - Former American President, George W. Bush, is to face a special Iraqi and UN-backed war crimes court after being captured while fleeing to the Texan border. Mr Bush faces charges of aiding the up rise of militia and crimes against humanity whilst in office during the years 2003-2008.The US army, with Mr. Bush at the top of the power hierarchy, invaded Arakis in late summer, 2003 and swiftly ousted the democratically elected leader, Saddam Hussein. Mr Hussein, who was later captured, was executed on trumped up charges constructed by the US body administrating the region. After this, The US administration promptly attacked rebelling minorities, spurred on by visions of their now-dead leader, and neglected the rest of the nation, leaving them with no power, running water or, in some cases, access to proper food supplies.
The US was largely attacked by the rest of the world for their actions, however, at numerous enquiries held by the UN, the US used a combined smokescreen of aggressive diplomacy and the threat of military action against the rest of the world.
When Mr. Bush arrives in Washington tomorrow, he will be facing a total of 11 different charges-five counts of crimes against humanity, five counts of war crimes and one count of severe violation of international humanitarian law. These mainly relate to his attack on Fallujah- the city where so-called 'insurgents' were centrally basing themselves. US troops ran amok, destroying property, displacing civilians, placing the whole city under siege, slaughtering many and attacking many non-Christians.
After this humanitarian catastrophe, to enable the military to get to one of the key objectives of the invasion - the iRaqi oil reserves, the US administration needed more time to extract them, and so created a phoney militia, who then consequently attacked and murdered thousands in different ways.
Today, speaking from the trial, Mr. Bush's legal representative, a court official, as a defence team has yet to be appointed by Mr. Bush, entered a not guilty plea. Chief prosecutors, intending to take him to The Hague in The Netherlands, as his influence and connections in Texas deem it unsafe to put him up for trial in Texas, where he was once Governor, described him as a "Very wicked man-probably one of the worst war criminals of all time."
The White House condoned his actions in a statement: "We cannot ever foresee our country repeating such arrogant and illegitimate actions. We wish to see the Ex-President punished suitably." Incumbent Hilary Clinton delivered the message at a press meeting this morning.
The Ex-President was unavailable for comment.
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|