UnNews:Evidence of Syrian hidden volcano base "compelling" reveal CIA
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Evidence of Syrian hidden volcano base "compelling" reveal CIA
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, November 30, 2015, 10:09:UTC)(
24 April 2008
THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY today accused Syria of building a secret hidden volcano base, complete with laser beam platform, controls to access orbiting weaponised satellites and pools housing "up to twenty sharks". The agency say that claims of crocodile pits are "plausible but as yet unsubstantiated"
Intelligence officials were set to show members of the U.S. Congress a video recording and other "extremely compelling" evidence showing that Syria had been constructing a vast volcano base before it was blown up by an "unidentified, well spoken, agent " in September last year.
An official said the evidence came from a variety of sources including adventure movies dating back to the mid to late 60s. The Syrian volcano base was similar in design to a number of underground volcano bases that had previously been used to hold the world to ransom in the latter three decades of the 20th century.
If the claims prove to be true, the CIA allegations would mean Syria may have been in breach of an "international meglomaniacal underground facility nonproliferation" treaty.
The site was flattened after the unnamed agent managed to target it with one of its own orbital weapon systems but independent analysts say commercial satellite imagery taken after the raid suggests it was "probably just a yak farm or some such".