UnNews:Everybody loves your mom

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THE MANAGEMENT

17 February 2010

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Everybody loves your mom.

TRIPAND FALLS, Indiana -- The word is out, everybody loves your mom. She's so totally awesome, she lets us smoke weed in the basement and set off kick-ass fireworks in the summer in her back yard.

Your mom introduced me to my girlfriend, who's also awesome. She got her girlfriend to do a three-way, and we have the best sex, totally, all the time. Sometimes your mom lets us all have sex in her house, when she goes out to visit elderly shut-ins.

Some people, like Baptists and Catholics, don't like your mom so much. They say she contributes to the juvenile delinquency, and has sex with minors. I don't think that's true, because she really loves your dad. I see them swimming naked in the pool sometimes, and I hear them bumping uglies all the time. I mean, all the time dude!.

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