UnNews:EvenBalance and EA Games release new anti-cheat system, PunkWaster
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
EvenBalance and EA Games release new anti-cheat system, PunkWaster
Where man always bites dog
Friday, January 20, 2017, 16:32:UTC)(
Redwood City, CA
Video game giant Electronic Arts and world renowned anti-cheating software experts EvenBalance announced today a partnership to produce a new anti-cheat system to replace the aging PunkBuster system currently in use by both companies.
The new system, codenamed PunkWaster, will adopt a system of 'aggressive defense,' according to EvenBalance officials.
"The problem we're seeing now is that even with permanent CD key banning in PunkBuster, cheaters keep getting new keys and cheating again," says EvenBalance president Tony Roy. "With PunkWaster, that will be a thing of the past."
EvenBalance issued a technical paper describing how the system will work. A small box will plug into the user's computer, constantly in communication with the PunkWaster software. If a cheat is detected, the software detonates 400 grams of Semtex in the external box, killing the would-be cheater.
"The possibilities don't stop there" says John Riccitiello, CEO of Electronic Arts. "In a future patch, we plan to add neural pattern recognition, so that if the user even thinks of cheating, the software can take appropriate action."
Some users have raised concerns that the system might cause false positives. Riccitiello dismisses these concerns. "PunkWaster will go through all the same rigorous testing that all Electronic Arts software is renowned for. We're confident that the final product will be bug-free."
"With PunkWaster" adds Riccitiello, "gamers will finally have peace of mind from cheaters."