UnNews:Estonians strike back at Russians, ban toll reaches thousands
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Estonians strike back at Russians, ban toll reaches thousands
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 29, 2016, 08:01:UTC)(
19 May 2007
RUSSO-ESTONIAN CYBER-FRONTIER, -- After a day of regrouping and planning, it appears that the users (and even sysops) of the Official Estonian Wiki have launched a full scale attack on the Official RussoWiki. This attack comes on the heels of a reversed situation, in which the Russians attacked the Estonians on their own home turf.
The Russians anticipated an invasion by the Estonians, and readied the defenses to prepare for Cyber War. Possible proxies and dangerous IPs were looked up and blocked, firewalls were put in place, and some older vandals were even unbanned to assist in a counter-counterattack. What the Russians did not anticipate, however, was how fast the Estonians would mobilize their users, and were caught by their unawares when the attack came only a day after the initial strike.
Since the Russians were more prepared than the Estonians were when they got attacked, resistance was stronger. This isn't to say the conflict wasn't bloody, while on the contrary, it was of epic proportions. Thousands of users on each side vandalized and reverted thousands of times every second. In the confusion, the Russian sysops accidentally banned their own defenders. Two carefully planted worms disabled the admins from accessing the recent changes page. In a mere matter of minutes, the entire wiki was plastered with pictures of the Estonian flag, admin power was usurped, and there was nothing the Russians could do about it.
In the midst of all the carnage lay over 2600 banned IPs, including 1900 on the Estonian side. An online massacre of this size has not occurred since the Wikipedia Edit Wars of April 2007.
Needless to say, they ran back crying to their mommy, who first dismissed it as a minor issue, but upon hearing of the severity looked into the case with extreme interest and loathing. The cabal at Moscow decided that it is in their best interests to contain this attack and stop it from spreading elsewhere, but also wanted firm retribution on the Estonians. In the end, Russia declared Total Cyber War on the Estonians, and have locked down the URL of the RussoWiki until they can mass up a working force large enough to take it back. The cost of laptops for this war is estimated to hit as high as 12.8 million USD.
- Yosef "Curly Yoe" Voystavich ""Yarr! Russian cyber pirates plunder booty from Estonians, Estonians strike back in kind."". The Estonian Enquirer, May 19, 2007