UnNews:Errata 4 February 2008
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Errata 4 February 2008
Straight talk, from straight faces
Friday, May 6, 2016, 19:17:UTC)(
6 February 2008
UNN Headquarters, Uncyclopedia -- Contrary to unfounded allegations made by a certain government in south east asia and libelous descriptions of Uncyclopedia by the BBC on their web site, UnNews, as a professional news corporation striving for the highest standards in journalism has no reservations when it comes to correcting errors made in reports.
On the 4th of February, UnNews published "Allegations of 'bugging' are starting to bug the police". We would now like to correct some inaccurancies in this report and apologise unreservedly to anyone we may have misled, misrepresented or offended in any way.
An error was made in the typesetting of the headline. The corrected headline reads.
- Allegations of 'buggering and bugging' are starting to bug the police
We would like to apologise personally to Ian Blair, Head of the Metropolitan Police in London for misquoting him. We published the following quote
- "Of course we bugged the MP; its been planned for months! Now that we've admitted it, case closed. Can we move on now?"
Mr Blair actually said
- "Of course we buggered the MP; its been planned for months! It was in the public interest. Now that we've admitted it, case closed. Can we move on now?"
We would also like to apologise to Labour Member of Parliament Sadiq Khan for failing to mention the buggering. Mr Khan, who made his name as a human rights lawyer before becoming an MP is familiar with the use of enforced sodomy as a method of punishment and is thought to be 'not tremendously in favour' of the method.
Mr Khan commenting from his inflatable haemorrhoid cushion said
- "Use of this method rode roughshod over both my rights and my bottom".
Legislation to extend police powers to enable them to sodomise members of parliament whenever it's deemed to be within the public interest has been tied up in the House of Commons for some time. Opinion polls indicate that the public are overwhelmingly in favour of the new legislation but MPs are divided on whether the police should be required to obtain a court order from a judge before a 'buggering order' can be issued and executed.
Sodomy as a means of control and punishment has of course a long tradition within British culture. It is generally well respected as a 'tried and tested' method used by many highly regarded institutions. Britain's upper house, the 'House of Lords' is known to be entirely in favour of the legislation and will certainly vote it through if they are given the opportunity later this year.