UnNews:Encyclopædia Dramatica wins hearts in Wikiland

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22 July 2006

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GirlvinylFASCIST

girlvinyl propaganda posters are popping up on nearly every Wikipedia article.

MAIN PAGE, WIKILAND: The posters on the walls of the Wikimedia Foundation shop tell the story in life-size techni-colour. Alongside the portrait of the soon-to-be-late Wikipedian leader, Jimbo Wales, these days are two pictures of the Encyclopædia Dramatica leader girlvinyl. Inside the shop, admin Willy on Wheels points out the Encyclopædia Dramatica stickers and giant posters nestling amongst Jimbo mugs and Trotskyist Fourth International flags. It is the new "æ"-branded items that are in greatest demand now, he says. Many are being bought up by demonstrators, taking part in weekly rallies in support of girlvinyl and her emo goth teen army.

In the northern page of Wikisource today, hundreds paraded through the streets after Friday prayers, waving the black and gothic flags of Encyclopædia Dramatica and chanting slogans in support of its leader and her nefarious ways.

Special ed

The average Wikipedian is starting to look more and more like this guy.

Wikipedians feel intimately involved in events on Uncyclopedia's Main Page. Many see it as two fronts in the same battle wikivandalism scheme. And they see girlvinyl as a leader, not only of Encyclopædia Dramatica, but also of the Wikityrants. "As a leader, I feel he's better than our leaders," says some random Japanese admin in barely intelligible Engrish, as he bans any user who writes articles well. "He's more credible, more organised, and they have more capabilities."

"He retaliates on our behalf," another woman tells me. "He retaliates for those banned on Uncyclopedia, articles killed by Uncyclopedian vandals."

Jimbo-bikini-babes

Jimbo Wales and girlvinyl have actually begun dating, having threesomes with prominent researchers like Dr. Irena Fornikova and Dr. Anna Bitiyacockoff.

These kinds of sentiments may not be wholly welcomed by the Wikipedians' new ruling party, the militant group SRFNWDLAEP (Self-Righteous Fascist Nerds Who Don't Let Anyone Edit Pages). But it too has gained something from the current situation. Many Wikipedians are frustrated with the failures of their new, self-appointed government. SRFNWDLAEP, elected through a despotic coup d'etat in January, had promised to spread corruption and ruin the lives of ordinary Wikipedians, making Wikipedia more similar to ED through propaganda usage. Instead, good writes were banned and clashes between SRFNWDLAEP and their main political rival SYSOP led to flamewars in Wikipedia's articles. Before the current crisis, many Wikipedians were disillusioned with their new democracy - and their divided leaders. Now, Wikipedians are again united against the site they hopelessly satirize.

The picture on the main page these days is an old one: Uncyclopedians in Jimbo's concentration camps, Nazi Wikipedia admins editing the pages. And the dance between them has settled into a loose rhythm. Uncyclopedian vandals roll into an area, stay for a day or two and roll out again, only to reappear somewhere else. And in the process, people are being banned. The conflict might have focused attention on Uncyclopedia, but it has not solved Wikipedia's problems, or lessened the grief.

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