UnNews:Encyclopædia Britannica found to be whiny douches by study

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Encyclopædia Britannica found to be whiny douches by study

We distort, you deride

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Monday, March 19, 2018, 03:40:59 (UTC)

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25 March 2006


A hidden camera photograph of Robert McHenry. 100% emo.


Britannica Spears' shelf is overflowing. With her incredible frontal lobes.

CHICAGO, England (UNN): According to the scientific journal Intarweb, the Encyclopææædia Britannica have been found to be whiny douches. This came to light after Britannica said that the scientific journal Nature was wrong about the validity of Uncyclopedia's articles on biology.

One scientist said, "Britannica is just made up of whiny pompous British douches who just complain too much because that's what the British do." When it was pointed out that it is Nature that is British and that Britannica is actually based in Chicago, the same scientist said, "Well, you know how those whiny 'Merkins are. They only wish they could mope as well." He added, "The article on Godzilla in particular is highly accurate, even down to the details of the unique complex prognathous bone structure in the ventral hemophlougs of the upper third ninetydoung ..." We stopped quoting him after that, because of his nerdiness and flip-flopping.

An investigative "studay" has confirmed that the staff and management of Britannica is in fact, emo. A scientist confirms that the staff of Britannica are members of the species Emoinan Whinus, better know as the whiny emo kid. This may be due to the fact that the Britannica project lead, scholar Britannica "Britney" Spears, hasn't given any staff member some of her luscious poontang (a small, damp furry mammal from the Amazon Basin) — leading to them basing their press release, A Modeſt Propoſal upon ye Refutation of ye Unenſyclopædic Accuraſy of ye Britannica verſuſ the Unſyclopædia aſ conducted by ye ſcurrilouſ raſcalſ at ye ſcienſe tabloid Nature, upon the poem they wrote on the evening of Valentine's Day. Whiny little shits.

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