UnNews:Embryo right’s activists win legal battle
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Embryo right’s activists win legal battle
Straight talk, from straight faces
Monday, May 25, 2015, 12:45 (UTC)
19 April 2007
WASHINGTON DC - The Supreme Court's endorsement of the first federal criminalization of an abortion procedure in a generation suggests that even with Democrats in control of Congress, human rights have dwindled.
Democrats are complaining that the death rate of full grown humans in sub-Saharan Africa due to Christian inspired contraceptive use misinformation is 2.6 times greater than the death rate of the holocaust, and say that "Christian love" should be used to help living people rather than zygotes, blastocysts and embryos that look more like a tadpole after a stag night than a human. Thankfully, their calls have gone unheeded and the Republicans have their way. Again.
Douglas Johnson of the National Right to Life Committee, an anti-abortion group, said the ruling "provides further encouragement" to state and federal lawmakers to enact better "informed consent" laws, such as those requiring that women be offered an opportunity to see what happens in hell to raped women who can't afford to bring up the rapist’s child. He then spoke about how he was envisioning medicaid funding for public passion plays.
Most opposition to abortion comes from Catholics, Mormons and fundamentalistic evangelists who believe that pedophilic priests are running out of cute young boys to rape and abortion will reduce this number of children even further.
Further arguments come from the fact that according to the Bible women are worthless robots put on earth by our lord Jesus Christ to provide entertainment for me and because they are not humans, they don't deserve the right to chose for themselves and therefore we should have socialized medicine, but with all of the drawbacks and none of the advantages.
edit Arguments from liberals
In the United States a person who believes that women are humans and have the right to choose whether or not they want to have a child are called “liberals”. Even members of the Republican Party who support abortion are called liberals, or sometimes “traitors”. Liberals have some very peculiar beliefs, including the belief that it is perfectly fine to kill a grouping of cells that looks like a rotten banana put through a matter shrinking machine, yet it is genocide to allow millions of people world over to die of AIDS every year due to misinformation on condoms fed to people by Christians. That is of course back to front, as American embryos are worth much more than African children. The only thing those people are good for is picking cotton. In fact, by the closing of stock markets on Wednesday, a single White American Human ovum was worth 35,000 25-year-old Africans in "good" health.