UnNews:Elmo sexually assaults his aide
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
13 November 2012
Sesame Street, Manhattan NY, USA-- Elmo, the popular TV personality, has shocked the world today. The lovable educational icon is being accused of molesting his long time aide, Kevin Clash. The allegations broke today as during a taping of the documentary show Sesame Street, which Elmo appears in. The show has immense popularity and has been around for decades, spawning many other material, such as movies, and the spin-off show "The Office".
Kevin Clash, who has been Elmo's personality assistant for over 20 years has filed a police report against the star. Clash claims that Elmo has been sexually assaulting him for years. He went on to say it was never consensual and that "tickle-me-elmo" is a chilling statement for him to hear.
Though this comes as a surprise to many who knew both Elmo and Kevin Clash. They two are always together. Every public appearance of Elmo, he has insisted or demanded that Mr.Clash be allowed access. Even when Elmo addressed congress, Mr.Clash was also there. Many suspected some kind of romantic relationship between the two.
Kevin Clash has taken a leave of absence from work, no longer proving any kind of assistance to the star Elmo that he use to. Elmo is a differently abled person, making things very difficult for him. The specifics of his handicap are unknown, however he does need constant help to live his daily life. now that Elmo is without, this position will likely need to be filled immediately.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|