UnNews:Elmo doll on the run after threatening child
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Elmo doll on the run after threatening child
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, March 26, 2017, 13:13:UTC)(
22 February 2008
Indeed, Elmo dolls have replaced brown babies as America's greatest threat, according to a recent survey. Based mostly in the Sesame Street area in the Bronx, Elmo dolls are victims, some say, of socio-economic circumstances that are just plain skewed against them.
"They grow up in these...shanties, I won't call them homes," Big Bird, an esteemed doctor from the Bronx, tells UnNews. "And their role models are living in trash cans, unable to spell simple words without input from dozens of children....they're really victims of circumstance."
Authorities warn that this particular Elmo doll is particularly dangerous, and is likely hiding somewhere in the Bronx.
- CNN "Death Threat Elmo?". [[wikipedia:|]], February 22, 2008