UnNews:Election Aftermath: Hourly

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:'''11:01 PM:''' Bag of [[Ralph Nader]] ballots from 2000 surfaces in [[Florida]] polling place.
 
:'''11:01 PM:''' Bag of [[Ralph Nader]] ballots from 2000 surfaces in [[Florida]] polling place.
 
:'''11:17 PM:''' [[Republican Party|Republican]] presidential challenger [[Mitt Romney]] calls Obama to concede the race. The two men cry on the phone and swear that if they could do it all over again, they'd be friends.
 
:'''11:17 PM:''' [[Republican Party|Republican]] presidential challenger [[Mitt Romney]] calls Obama to concede the race. The two men cry on the phone and swear that if they could do it all over again, they'd be friends.
:'''10:45 PM:''' First wave of jubilant/enraged [[Facebook]] posts crests.
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:'''11:45 PM:''' First wave of jubilant/enraged [[Facebook]] posts crests.
 
:'''11:59 PM:''' [[Todd Akin]] goes to bed cursing 19th Amendment.
 
:'''11:59 PM:''' [[Todd Akin]] goes to bed cursing 19th Amendment.
   

Latest revision as of 02:14, November 10, 2012

This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Straight talk, from straight faces

9 November 2012

Beamuprush

Rush Limbaugh, who holds different political opinions than the man reelected President of the United States, is convinced that the country is doomed.

UNNEWS HEADQUARTERS -- Blow-by-blow updates of the first 48 hours following the US election results of 2012. All times EST, approximate and/or wrong:

edit Tuesday

10:38 PM: Barack Obama declared winner of the presidential race by one or another of the breathless news channels.
10:39 PM: Left-wing riot preppers have nightcap, turn in. Right-wing riot preppers light molotov cocktails, burn things.
10:40 PM: Brian Williams is finally able to get up from his on-air desk and take a leak.
10:45 PM: First wave of jubilant/enraged tweets crests.
11:01 PM: Bag of Ralph Nader ballots from 2000 surfaces in Florida polling place.
11:17 PM: Republican presidential challenger Mitt Romney calls Obama to concede the race. The two men cry on the phone and swear that if they could do it all over again, they'd be friends.
11:45 PM: First wave of jubilant/enraged Facebook posts crests.
11:59 PM: Todd Akin goes to bed cursing 19th Amendment.

edit Wednesday

6:47 AM: Last two wonks on MySpace exchange terse words on differing opinions.
8:00 AM: Rush Limbaugh wakes up Inception-style into in-nightmare nightmare.

edit Sources

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.
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