UnNews:Economic Crisis going to plan
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Economic Crisis going to plan
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, May 28, 2015, 23:03:UTC)(
28 September 2008
WASHINGTON DC, USA - Today George Bush announced that the financial crisis most of the world is currently experiencing is going very well, and we will all hopefully be queueing for bread by November.
The world has experienced tough times before, such as the Wall street crash back in the 20's, but unfortunately America elected a good enough President to sort it all out. This time, George Bush claims that it is win-win for him because if McCain gets elected in the future elections next month, the crisis will only get worse, while if Obama gets elected, the crisis will hopefully be so bad by November everyone will just blame him for the mess and forget about Bush's involvement.
Bush claims that although the fantastic collapse of many banks has helped to make this possible, it is unfortunately happening at a very slow rate. He started the planned economic crisis in 2003 by invading Iraq, but because of the United Kingdom joining the war, the effect of this hasn't bounced back as quick as they all hoped it would. Ronald Reagon also attempted a financial crisis, but unfortunately the Soviet Union collapsed first, making America seem not so bad.
Scientists too have supported the crisis, claiming it might prove Darwin's theory of "Survival of the fittest"
Even though it all seems bad at the moment, we can all take comfort in the encouraging words the President of the United States - "It will take time to restore chaos".