UnNews:Ebay to give away millions
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Ebay to give away millions
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, July 2, 2016, 06:01:UTC)(
19 July 2007
London, UK. Internet auction site eBay today announced that it had turned philanthropist, eBay founder - eric Bay spoke to UnNews "We just thought it was a good idea, after all we have got plenty fat by creaming off the profit from all the little people selling tat to each other, we just thought - what the hell - let's go nuts."
A sixteen year old boy from Aylsham, Norfolk was the first customer to benefit from this new venture when he bought a Playstation Two for £95. The games console arrived in a box minus two games. "I was a little disappointed at fist that two of the games were missing." said the boy who cannot be named for illegal reasons," But imagine my surprise when I looked in the bottom of the box and found 400 euros (the equivalent of £600, or two hundred forty-three million US dollars) in non-sequential, used bank notes".
An eBay spokesman said the parcel's contents were "An unusual gift from your friends at eBay" and added,"there is no need for a police inquiry. We know that eBay is a great place to pick up a bargain, now you can also pick up free cash too, no strings attached - honest", the spokesman added,"No police inquiry."
Industry analysts have speculated that eBay may be upto something dodgy. However, eBay insist the offer is genuine,"Free money for all ", the eBay spokesman said,"...just nobody call the police ok? Play nice and nobody has to get hurt."
This reporters firm belief is that eBay are being quite genuine in their philanthropic actions and has no reason to believe that the money in a brown paper envelope that arrived with my latest eBay purchase this morning was anything other than a free gift - let's just keep it to ourselves though eh?