UnNews:E.coli outbreak proves vegetarians are stupid
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
E.coli outbreak proves vegetarians are stupid
Democracy Dies with Dignity
Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 09:24:UTC)(
10 October 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
WASHINGTON --The recent outbreak of deadly E. coli in spinach and cabbage has proven once and for all that vegetarians are nice, self-righteous people who are taking heat for someone else's fault. The e-coli came from a animal factory farm next door...not from the spinach.. Leafy green spinach may be full of vitamins and minerals, but it can also kill you just as quick as any hamburger.
Within days of the first reported E. coli-related case on Aug. 30, illness from the tainted California spinach had spread to two dozen states. Nearly 200 people were sickened — one-third of them in the first 72 hours. Two elderly women and a 2-year-old boy died.
"When you open a bag of spinach, think about the animals you are saving and how much do the meat eaters stink?" said Dr. Robert Tauxe, chief of foodborne diseases at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "The more meat you eat the more there is need for body spray and body spray is one of those cosmetics that can also harm you," Tauxe said.
One of the most famous vegetarians, Freedom Davis Starchild, still believes eating meat is unhealthy and immoral. "Vegetables are grown out of Gaia, the Earth Mother, and are infused with her power. And what gives us human beings the right to torture, slaughter and consume other animals?"
A recent ABC News poll indicated that of the people surveyed, a whopping 67 percent said that vegetarians are a big pain in the ass to have over for dinner, since you have to prepare special food for them like they were princes and princesses.""What a bunch of fucking hypocrites!
So the next time you feel guilty about having the Monte Cristo sandwich instead of the salad, just order a salad and give back your sandwich.
NOTE: The e-coli came from a animal factory farm next door...not from the spinach.
- Randy Newman "Vegan, vegitarian, whatever.. they're all bat fuck insane". Mr. Meaty's Procedure Manual, October 10, 2006
- Gazzaisvegan ""vegetarians are ridiculous, self-righteous jerks": but not as big a jerk as the one that wrote this page (see above), what do you think they spread on the soil to introduce Nitrates into the soil (animal slurry from animal intestines you "Jerk"-off) Google "ecoli 0157" _ E. coli O157:H7. E. coli is a normal inhabitant of the intestines of all animals E. coli is the dominant species found in feces (improperly composted manure), now get yourself an education and stop writing mindless trash _ Is it time to buy local Organic?". @Gazzaisvegan Twitter, June 03, 2010