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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, August 21, 2017, 18:08:UTC)(
19 August 2007
Astronomers and cosmologists around the world were angered and embarrassed today as it was revealed to the general public that their beloved was incorrect. The proof lies in the fact that gravity operates instantaneously. To elaborate: If, say, the Sun were to suddenly disappear right now, the Earth would instantly fly out of orbit. This contradicts , which says that nothing can move faster than the speed of light. If were true, then the result of the thought experiment would be that the Earth would stay in its orbit for 8 minutes, which is clearly absurd. So desperate are the supporters of , they go as far as claiming that this is exactly what would happen. This is clearly absurd, as it fails against not only Newton's Law of Gravity, but common sense, and we all know that common sense is the most important thing in science. Anything that fails against common sense is clearly unscientific and incorrect. When presented of the reality of Newton's Law of Gravity, supporters of claim not only that has little to do with gravity, but that the Law of Gravity was superceded by relativity! This is absurd, as Relativity is a Theory, and the Law of Gravity is a Law.
A few things that were explained by Relativity, such as Mercury's orbit, still need to be explain in terms of the Law of Gravity.