UnNews:Dude would like totally bone Nancy Pelosi anyway
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
10 January 2007
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DAYTON, Ohio - According to an inside source, namely my bud Brendan, Democratic Congresswoman and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is most definitely "do-able," and that he would probably have no trouble boning her if the situation presented itself.
Brendan is like, "Dude, I'll bet she's like the kind who is all business chill on the outside, but once you get her bare ass in the air, she's like smokin crazy wild."
Apparently Pelosi's age is not a factor in Brendan's opinion. He has stated on several occasions that older women appreciate sex more, and are generally more experienced and skillful, leading to a more pleasureful experience for everyone involved. Brendan has in fact expressed on several occasions his attraction to Jeremy's mom and her "totally tight ass and firm tits," which would indicate that his appraisal of Pelosi is sincere.
When questioned about any previous first-hand experience with older sexual partners, Brendan declined direct comment, saying that maybe he hasn't personally experienced much sex with an older woman, he's seen "tons of websites" full of older chicks who are just "total freaks."
A spokesperson for Pelosi, who has been informed of Brendan's opinion, said that Pelosi, "does appreciate Brendan's supportive comments, and would absolutely suck his balls dry like apricots should she find the time and opportunity to do so."