UnNews:Dude with Bob Marley sticker ignorant of Marley's beliefs

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

16 August 2006

Marl23

Believed Haile Selassie was Jesus, and that white people were the Devil.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) -- Unemployed electronic parts supply store clerk, Rick Mangusen, has a colorful, adhesive sticker of late reggae singer and activist Bob Marley stuck to his van, yet is completely ignorant of Marley's religion and political views.

Marley, who died of brain cancer in 1981 at the age of 36, was a Rastafarian. Among other things, Rastafarians believe that Haile Selassie, crowned as Emperor of Ethiopia in 1930, was the heralded "second coming" of Jesus Christ.

Upon being informed of Marley's religion, Mangusen shook his blond dredlocks in dismay. "I had no idea that's what Marley was into," he said. "This Selassie guy was supposed to be Jesus, huh? That's pretty fucked up. All I know is that he made some good tunes to mellow out with."

Rastafarians are also virulently distrustful of what they consider to be a conspiracy of white people to subjugate black people through force and trickery. They also believe that white people falsely reported that Selassie had died in 1975.

"You know, that sounds kind of racist," Mangusen commented. "I mean, I'm white, and I'm not conspiring to keep any black people down. I don't know if I like being lumped into a group like that."

Mangusen explained that he primarily admired Marley because the entertainer was known to consume large amounts of marijuana and hashish, which is considered a sacrament in the Rastafarian religion as an aid to achieving spiritual enlightenment. Mangusen, however, admits he hasn't noticed any rise in his own spirituality as a result of his own heavy tokage.

When asked if he might remove Marley's image from his van now that he's more familiar with his philosophy, Mangusen replied, "I don't know. Maybe. I was thinking of doing it anyway, because it's just one more reason for the cops to fuck with me."

Personal tools
projects