UnNews:Dude's "Second Life" every bit as boring as his first life
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Dude's "Second Life" every bit as boring as his first life
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, June 29, 2016, 00:26:UTC)(
29 November 2006
CYBERLAND - Jeff Watkins, 19, from Baltimore, Maryland could have been anything he could imagine when he chose his alter-ego in the "Second Life" virtual reality world, but what he came up with may actually be more boring than his real life.
Watkins created a character named "Jack" Watkins, who, curiously enough, is a part-time dishwasher and community college sophomore, just like Jeff. Coincidence?
"A lot of people create characters who look like them," Watkins said. "I don't see what's so wrong with that."
Gary Plenth, a 21-year-old Jiffy Lube attendant who appears in Second Life as the half-man, half-wolf furry "Mystyk Pussyranger," sees plenty wrong with it. "Second Life is supposed to be where you live out your wildest fantasies. You mean to say this guy's fantasy is to be a B-student living with his parents? He's bringing the whole section of his world down, man."
In fact, an entire section of Second Life is now inhabited by character avatars that go to boring, low-paying jobs only to come home and watch hours of television before they go to bed. The "Borons" are a growing segment of the population.
Watkins explains, "All any of us want is to be accepted and well-thought-of in the community. We obey the laws, go to work, and hope to meet someone with similar goals and morals to raise a nice little virtual family."