UnNews:Distraught Fly Family To Sue White House
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Distraught Fly Family To Sue White House
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, August 29, 2016, 06:11:UTC)(
Obama was being interviewed by CNBC inside the White House when Diptera 'Dippy' Domestica tried to put his own question to the president on behalf of 'Flyonthewall TV' . However thanks to a problem with the translation service provided by the White House Press Office , this was misunderstood as an interruption and Domestica was swatted by Obama then thrown on the floor where he later died , legs in the air and still filming.
This act of murder on live television has been seen all around the world and by the outraged fly community in the United States. They are especially upset as Obama seemed to be 'callously socialist' in his attitude and claim this could be the start of a sustained campaign against all those born with six legs. Now Domestica's wife Thoraxia has appeared on Fox TV to announce she intends to sue the president for 'premeditated murder'.
Did you see him on TV just kill my husband cried Thoraxia Domestica. I voted for Obama when he said he wanted to have an inclusive presidency and he does this to our family. What am I going to tell his children - all five hundred of them ? . Then wiping her compound eyes , she added:
The death of Dippy is going to make it difficult for my family. I have asked all of them to head down to Capitol Hill and buzz Congress to see if they can impeach the president. We may be flies but we do know our constitutional rights.
The TV company who employed Dippy say they have received thousands of supportive messages and have a tv special highlighting their reporter/cameraman's work. Their spokefly Bugs Bluebottle made this announcement :-
Dippy was special. If any fly was going to get into an event you knew Dippy was your insect. He wasn't a 'superfly' but always got himself noticed. Now he lies at the bottom of a White House trash can. What more can I say but make sure Barack Obama is charged with murder.
The White House has so far only said that 'as far as we know he looked just like a [expletive] fly ! Call us back when the they get the vote.. and slammed the phone down.
- New York Times
- Fox TV (under 'Is Barack Obama a murderer ?')