UnNews:Disney to host Gay unions
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Disney to host Gay unions
We distort, you deride
Saturday, July 22, 2017, 17:03:UTC)(
6 April 2007
ANAHEIM, Ca - Same-sex couples who want to exchange vows in front of Cinderella's Castle can now have their wish come true.
The Walt Disney Co. had limited its “Fairy Tale Wedding” program to couples with valid marriage licenses, but it is now making ceremonies at its parks available to homosexual couples as well, The new program will be referred to as “Fairy Tale Civil Unions”.
"We believe this change is consistent with Disney's long-standing policy of welcoming every guest in an inclusive environment," Disney Parks and Resorts spokesman Donn Walker said Friday. "We want everyone who comes to celebrate a special occasion at Disney to feel welcome and respected. We have always accepted Gays and Lesbians at our Disney Theme Parks, especially since they have loads of disposable income."
The company said it made the change after being contacted by a gay couple who wanted to use the wedding service. Walker explained, “We quoted them twice the regular amount and they didn’t even flinch, I swear this is going to be a gold mine, one that we at Disney are considering a "Mother Lode" for revenue. The basic wedding package includes the usual items like flowers, dining, and music, but we are offering many optional Disney touches. Everything from ceremonies in front of the parks' iconic attractions to having either two Mickeys for the Gays, or two Minnies for the Lesbians, in formal wear as guests. The packages start at $16,000 and with extras can go well over $100,000. However every wedding over $50,000 will include a “7 day Hopper Pass” for the lucky couple."
Groups, not affiliated with Disney, have held annual "gay" celebrations at Disney parks for years. Park officials were told to maintain a "tolerant attitude" to these gatherings by the head office, which unofficially refers to them as “Homo Cash Flow" events. Disney employees revealed that on at least two occasions, there were orders from management to have Chip and Dale act like "raving queens" when performing.
Gay tolerance has never been accepted by many religious group, For example, Southern Baptists have proclaimed they will boycott any and all venues associated with the Walt Disney Co., for failure to uphold what they call, "moral righteousness and traditional family values." Disney Officials responded with the following statement in response to the boycott, "Well we hope those Bible Thumpers really enjoy that second rate 'Six Flags' entertainment they're stuck with now."
Several Gay men were asked if this ceremony might be of interest to them. Many thought they might book a trip and a wedding, and one commented, “I would love to get married and honeymoon at Disney, I think it’s a great place for my Prince to cum!”