UnNews:Disabled dog wins title of Mr. Congeniality
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Disabled dog wins title of Mr. Congeniality
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, May 31, 2016, 21:48:UTC)(
22 April 2009
DES MOINES, Iowa -- The Beautiful Bulldog Contest, an annual event which is to Crufts whatever the Special Olympics is to the Olympics - although no one knows what this is, was won this week by Porterhouse, a disabled four year old bulldog from downtown Des Moines. As a prize the bulldog, whose appearance was described as "imaginative and original", will live with the state's Governor for a year and have a large input in issues concerning domesticated pets. "The Governor is absolutely thrilled with the result and is looking forward to meeting the winner who will be moving in with him shortly" a spokesperson for Mr Culver said, "By welcoming Porterhouse into his home, the Governor hopes to bring focus on the positive approach we should all have towards those - human or not - who suffer from disabilities".
Porterhouse, pictured, suffers from a yet-to-be-named condition which causes his tongue to stick to his nose for prolonged periods of time. "I was worried that the judges wouldn't be able to see past his disability and focus on his character," Erin Bell, who had presented Porterhouse in camouflage and an army helmet, commented, "I'm glad I was wrong though and that he now has the opportunity to make a difference." Erin and her husband, Kevin admitted that this wasn't the first time that they had entered Porterhouse into the competition, "This is the third year now that Porterhouse has been entered into The Beautiful Bulldog Contest, he has come so close in previous years that we felt we owed it to him to enter him this year and try our best to succeed".
There has been some controversy surrounding the judging in the competition with some of the other competitors owners speaking out. "We feel that whatever prevented Porterhouse from winning in the previous years was still present in him today, even if it was covered up by makeup and a hat, and believe that for him to win this year is an outrage", one of the fuming losers told this reporter. Many people have claimed that Porterhouse's victory was only possible in the absence of Simon Cowell whose stepping down caused a series of complaints and sparked rumours that The Beautiful Bulldog Contest would surely crash and burn as a result. The judges, however, have spoken out against opposition towards their decision and are refusing to consider an alternate winner.