UnNews:Direct China-Taiwan fights begin
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
4 July 2008
CAPITAL OF TAIWAN, I DON'T KNOW Both Taiwan and China have declared war on each other. By coincidence, at the same time. Why this has happened, nobody knows, yet as China is a communist country, or so claim anonymous sources, China may just be capturing new lands for its communist empire. Or not.
Why Taiwan, a little country only 0.4% Americans know about, has declared war on China, is yet unknown as well. Most people claim that they made a typo or a mistake from alcohol. There is a 99.99% chance that China will win, although there may be a small chance that China will lose.
China's top official in the Taiwan Wars Association of China or T-WAC, Wang Yi, claims it to be a "new start" in big mistakes. The two sides have been ruled by separate governments since 1949, forcing China to take hand the plan of connecting the two countries. Wang Yi claims that if the two become one, chances are, that China will, in fact be bigger. Many have claimed that China may even become smaller as Taiwan is a part of China, due to Taiwan's small size.
Ties have gone worse significantly since Taiwan's new President, Ma Ying-jeou, took office in May. Claiming that China is significant, Taiwan's itty-bitty coverage on defense and attack, TIBCDA, had chosen to make China less-significant and claimed war on China.
The new fights, which will take place from Friday to Monday only, will attack in five major cities in Taiwan and 4921 major cities in China. However, due to the small amount of soldiers in TIBCDA, Taiwan's fights in China shall only be for Mondays in up to 5 cities, due to the war law in Taiwan.
Japan, entirely ignoring the event, has invented an unrelated invention known as "Searmuffs", which will help people search the Sears supermarket faster.
Chinese war hero Liu Shaoyong guided the attack on Taiwan. "This is a sacred moment. The two sides are like members in one family," he told journalists in Beijing. George W. Bush has banned any attacks from America to Taiwan or China. "It will only make matters worse" he claimed at first. "Our matters with Iran" he had later claimed.