UnNews:Diesel generators to keep turbines spinning
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Diesel generators to keep turbines spinning
Where man always bites dog
Monday, October 24, 2016, 18:36:UTC)(
14 July 2013
Whitehall, LONDON - The UK Government is set to make a windfall profit of hundreds of billions of pounds out of a lucrative scheme to sell power from thousands of the emergency diesel generators it owns to the Windturbine Grid. The cash will come from using them to guard against the times when there is insufficent electricity available from other sources to keep the nation's fleet of ten thousand wind turbines revolving.
Public buildings, including NHS hospitals, prisons, Army barracks and RAF bases, police and fire headquarters, schools and council offices equipped with emergency generators are to be asked to make them available on 2-minute standby in order to cover those dodgy moments when the turbines look like they might be about to stop.
The scheme, managed by RenewableUK, is known as the Short Call Additional Machines (SCAM) It is better known in the private sector, where it is part of what is sometimes called "Connect On Notification" (CON) or even "Mains Feed On Request" (MFOR) It goes hand in glove with a scheme in which power to nonessential users like hospital operating theatres will be cut when the need to combat global warming with artifically-generated wind is of greater importance than human life.
For providing this power, so essential to saving the planet from carbon infestation, they will be paid premium rates, soon to rise to the equivalent of £6000 per Megawatt (MW) of electricity produced.
Usually, generators in public buildings are usually kept only for emergencies, and stand idle unless there is a power cut. With occasional test runs, they may not be used for more than 200 hours in a 20-year life. But they can now be used to earn £100m a year, just for being available to the Wind Grid but still doing nothing useful at all.
This scheme is expected to become so popular with private generator owners that it is projected to exceed the Green Deal in terms of number of total signups by 2014.
- Richard North "Energy: million-pound government windfall when no wind blows". EuReferendum.com, July 12, 2013