UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

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Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

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17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”
~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


edit The 43 Lost Proverbs

  1. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  2. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  3. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  4. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  5. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  6. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  7. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  8. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  9. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  10. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  11. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  12. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  13. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  14. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  15. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  16. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  17. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  18. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  19. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  20. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  21. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  22. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  23. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  24. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  25. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  26. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  27. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  28. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  29. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  30. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  31. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  32. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  33. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  34. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  35. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  36. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  37. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  38. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  39. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  40. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  41. To edify a hot dog, is to edify easily
  42. To edify a hot dog, is to edify {{adv})
  43. Meg Griffin is a real peach.

edit Sources

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

edit Notes

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

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