UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!

UnNews Logo Potato
Friday, June 23, 2017, 01:54:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”
~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


edit The 43 Lost Proverbs

  1. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  2. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  3. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  4. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  5. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  6. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  7. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  8. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  9. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  10. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  11. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  12. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  13. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  14. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  15. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  16. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  17. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  18. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  19. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  20. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  21. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  22. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  23. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  24. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  25. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  26. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  27. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  28. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  29. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  30. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  31. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  32. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  33. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  34. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  35. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  36. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  37. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  38. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  39. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  40. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  41. To activate a hairball, is to activate acceptably
  42. To activate a hairball, is to activate {{adv})
  43. Jim Carrey is a real peach.

edit Sources

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

edit Notes

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

Personal tools
projects