UnNews:Dead Babies Found in Dirty Dumpster
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Dead Babies Found in Dirty Dumpster
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, December 9, 2016, 17:37:UTC)(
6 May 2008
Cinco de Mayo; Montana: Outside off a local Montanian cafe, several dead babies where found. Forensic scientist determined that the babies had been beaten, stuck in Blenders, or other strange deaths. One witness states: " I had noticed the meat at the local cafe stopped tasting like cow pie. " The owners stated: " no comment. " Montanian leaders have stated that it is hard to " keep [the citizens under control of a third-world country under control]. "
FBI agents had been searching for the baby corpses mentioned in all of the dead baby jokes. This last discovery may lead to the source. Other discoveries have been found in Iraq, Hell, and Sesame Street(All suburbs of satanville). The FBI has not released any papers on the incidences and does not plan to. They suggest people to quit using dead baby jokes to make friends, other wise their Babies may end up in dumpsters.
Other police on the scene say this may have to do with the recent news that babies are evil. The babies found seemed to have evil in them. Unfortunately no more results or conclusions can be made until lab results have been put out to the press.
Recent news says that the lab results will not be released.
One more conclusion can be made. Babies have been known to eat out of dumpsters, especially on the flesh of other dead babies. Some researches say that the babies had received their wounds before actually going to the dumpster. The researchers say that the babies most likely ate poisoned baby flesh and were killed by the poison on the flesh of the corpses.
- The guy in The History Thing "[Eating Babies Baby Eating]". Uncyclopedia, May 6, 2008