UnNews:Crowd officially ready to rock
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Crowd officially ready to rock
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, April 30, 2016, 02:04:UTC)(
8 August 2008
SEATTLE, Washington: In an almost unanimous decision, the two hundred people present in the Fuzzy Wuzzy Bar have decided that they are ready to rock.
This decision was initiated by guitarist Marcus Wolfe, member of the local band Arms and Opium.
"We needed to know if they were ready yet," he said, explaining his actions in detail. "I mean, if the crowd's not ready to rock, why should the rocking begin? A crowd that is not ready for rocking will not appreciate rocking as such, and would probably throw bottles at us. Bottles hurt."
Fortunately for Wolfe and the other members of his band, the audience quickly decided that they were, indeed, prepared for the amount of rocking that was about to be delivered unto them. "Yes," said the audience together in response to Wolfe's query on their readiness to hear some awesome music. "Rock on!", added an unidentified individual, who then proceeded to scream loudly, "Woo!"
Despite this apparent approval from the eager crowd, the Fuzzy Wuzzy bar mandated another vote for Rocking Readiness, to be endorsed by a two thirds majority. When the second round of voting was finally completed, Mr. Wolfe was given the official go-ahead.
While the level of rocking implied was not delivered by the folk-playing band, members of the audience reported that they still would have eagerly allowed something rocking of that level. "Sure, folk is nice," said Steve Volmer, 23. "But we were so up for some real musical action, y'know?"
With any luck, the audience will recieve the proper amount of rockatude within the next week.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|