UnNews:Cows to inherit the world
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Cows to inherit the world
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, January 19, 2017, 07:08:UTC)(
16 March 2008
Gujrat, India -- The meek shall no longer inherit the world, this startling declaration was made by our Lord and Master, The Grand Poobah, The Emperor of the world, Chuck Norris, whilst honeymooning in Gujrat, the milk bowl of India, after his marriage to Bessie, Miss Bovine 2006.
The Bovine family or Cows to you and me, will now be the heirs to the world. This development has worried the international community already highly suspicious of the Cows, who have been suspected of waging a clandestine war to take over world but have so far been thwarted by organisations like McDonalds.
Readers may recall that Bessie's marriage to our Lord and Master, The Grand Poobah, The Emperor of the world, Chuck Norris was itself widely protested against by those fearing it to be another nefarious plot by the extremist group "Cows' United Now Together" C. U. N. T. to take over the world.
This latest development has forced the strategists at McDonalds to work overtime to come up with a solution to counter the growing influence of the Bovines.
It is widely believed that a leading female Demoratic Presidential hopeful is actually an agent planted by the "CUNT Liberation Intelligence Team" C. L. I. T.
In a recent survey, 95% of the people surveyed suspected this Female Democratic Candidate to be John McCain. While the remaining with 5% said it probably was Obama, their argument being that McCain is Republican.