UnNews:Cows accused of eating infected spinach
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Cows accused of eating infected spinach
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, December 2, 2016, 22:35:UTC)(
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8 October 2006
SAN FERNANDO VALLEY, California -- There has been a immediate product recall of all factory farmed beef in America, Antarctica, the Pacific Ocean and surrounding islands, after it became known that not only had all of Farmer John's cows become infected with the deadly E.Coli bug, but those of Farmers Joe and Jack had been living on a steady diet of E.Coli infected spinach for the past six months.
The World Meat Association gave us "No comment".
The backlash has spread across the world like wildfire. North Korea launched E.Coli infested missiles into South Korea, causing South Koreans to increase their daily dog intake to supplement the beef rations.
A tidal wave of blame is also spreading fast. In panic, the world has blamed Canada for the E.Coli epidemic, who have then gone on, backed by Europe blaming the USA. George Bush blames the Democrats, gays, abortionists and the Arabian Peninsula.
By tomorrow analysts declare that the world's last two cows will have been eaten. All hope is lost.