UnNews:Consumers buy HD DVDs to spite copyfighters

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11 May 2007

09f9 ... ahh fuckit

We don't care any more. Really.

BLOCKBUSTER, Strip Mall, Friday (U! News) — In the face of ludicrously overreaching intellectual property claims by the Hollywood copyright-industrial complex, consumers are rebelling — by buying new High-Definition DVD releases, in protest at the valiant copyfighters battling for their rights by spamming the AACS processing key "09-f9-11-02-9d-74-e3-5b-wt-fg-1b-b3-r1-5h" into every goddamn input box on the goddamn intarweb.

"I'm really enjoying the high-resolution version of 'Casino Royale,'" said Meg Grackswell, a developer on top 10 social networking site Wikipedia. "It even came with a free PlayStation 3! I wiped Ubuntu from my main computer and bought a copy of Windows Vista just to play it. It really pisses off these spamming morons when you tell them they personally converted you away from Linux. BitTorrent's a goddamn pain in the ass, anyway."

"but d00d!" said unstoppable human rights defending machine 09 f9 11 02, who recently legally changed his name from Hiram Nerdboy even in the face of family threats to disown him and evict him from his parents' basement, "w3 g0tt@ f1ght t3h m@n! th3y c@n't t@k3 @ll 0f u5! h3r3, l3t m3 s@v3 j00r fr33d0ms," he finished, copying and pasting the AACS key into another three hundred Wikipedia articles, cleverly working around the spam filter by putting colons between the hex pairs rather than spaces.

"We were originally worried," said AACS LA lawyer Michael Avery, "that our DMCA notice to Digg had triggered a disastrous public backlash. But we're grateful to the outraged geek population for working so hard to remind normal, everyday people just why it was they hated nerds in the first place, no matter how much money they make."

"but d00d!" interjected Nerdboy, "1t w@5 0n D1353l 5w33t135 t0d@y! j00 r s0000 fuxx0r3d!!"

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