UnNews:Conservapedia demands proof for the existence of science
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
30 June 2008
Jesusland Conservapedia, the bastion of free non-conservative speech, has declared that if it is not provided with proof that science exists, it will launch protests against school teachers and professors for wrongfully teaching mechanical engineering, biology, neurology, evolutionary science, electrical engineering, computer science and all other academic sciences. A Conservipedia will be held later in the month to make a conclusion as to whether science has any footing whatsoever on the rock of faith, or if science is entirely a figment of the sands observation, conjecture, and human reasoning.
Conservapedia's contention is that if the scientific and academic community cannot validate the existence of science from even one piece of scripture, then science is biblically unsupportable. Consequently, Conservapedia also demands that science instead be replaced with appropriate, scriptural and canonically sound studies such as biblical geology and "poof, there it is!" creation 'fact that not a theory.'
Scientist Dr. E.C. Helm proposed in a letter to Conservapedia that a reference in the New Testament to a Wisdom of the Greeks who above all else loved science, however a Conservapedia spokesman announced yesterday that the afore mentioned reference was to what the greeks considered to be wisdom which the Lord continues to describe as foolishness. "The question is not whether the belief in science exists, but as to whether science itself exists."
The scientific community has pointed out that the computers that Conservapedia has used to post these demands were created by a combination of electrical engineering, materials science and mechatronics. The community has further identified that there is no God in the machine. Unfortunately this claim is biblically unsound on the basis that The Lord identifies more than once that he is in fact everywhere.