UnNews:Computers Contract Hospital Virus
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
18 November 2008
The true scale of Britain's hospital superbug problems emerged today as even the computer systems in three London hospitals were brought down by a nasty virus yesterday. A spokesman said well-rehearsed emergency procedures were in place, treating the computers no different than patients where the plan is to shut down any support machinery and reboot, hoping for the best. It was also revealed that NHS IT support staff were unable to diagnose which virus had infiltrated the machinery, although being a British hospital, MRSA is thought to be the most likely cause. It is understood that the computers are in a stable condition, sharing a broom cupboard with several other computers brought down with this months Bebo Virus.
A recent survey suggests that one in ten patients pick up secondary infection like MRSA in British hospitals while being treated and this latest case shows that not even the machinery used within the buildings is safe. However, this new computer outbreak may finally provide health chiefs with a link between cleanliness and computer machinery. It has long been a mystery how despite vigorous cleaning attempts by overworked and underpaid nurses and cleaning staff, disease seem to be rife amongst British hospitals. However, these latest events have shown that circuit boards are potentially breeding havens for various viral infections. Therefore computers will probably be given the boot from all NHS hospitals within the week, even if Mr Murphy in Ward 12F is dependent on one for keeping his life support machine running through the night.