UnNews:Clerical error results in accidental "Truth Surge"
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7 May 2007
Washington, DC -- In clarification of a previous statement, the White House announced today that the President's intention had been to call for additional troops and not, as the original document stated, "a 20% increase in truth levels over the next 30 days".
In spite of the mix up, sources close to the President insist that he will stand by the original wording. "Once the President decides on a course, he sticks to it," said White House spokesperson, Tony Snow, "It's not a question of what we should do, or what we meant to do. His plan is to simply keep doing what we're doing, until it eventually works."
Some analysts believe that the 20% truth surge could bring White House truth levels up from the infinitesimally small amounts that are normally seen to levels that may even be statistically significant. If so, it would be the first measurable quantities of Executive-level truth in the last six years.
"You can rest assured that this plan will be implemented very carefully," Snow added, addressing concerns that the White House may not be able to function under such difficult conditions, "It's not like we're going to do anything crazy, like admit that the war in Iraq was started under false pretenses, or anything like that." He then laughed nervously and cleared his throat.
The first press release issued under the new system met its truth quota by correctly declaring today's date and the names of several generals.
Another mistake was also made today which revealed to the world the real age of Queen Liz, whom, it was quoted by Bush visited the country and fought on the side of the freedom fighters for justice so that shem ight get free tea and biscuits whenever she wanted them in the USA. In this mistake Mr Bush accidentally also revealed himself to be the son of the Queen, after being scolded for his mistake in the manner befitting of the British (Chav) monarch, happy slapping.