UnNews:Charlie Sheen pleases Detroit crowd

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3 April 2011

Sheen on TV

Charlie Sheen kicks back and watches himself on a projection television. Because that's just how cool he is. WINNING

DETROIT, Michigan -- Charlie Sheen's nationwide stage show, "My Violent Torpedo of Violence Tour," opened with a bang here, and crowds were pleased that, for once, it was not caused by automatic weapon fire.

Sheen sat on a park bench on stage, in front of a gigantic television, on which the crowd of 5,100 at the landmark Fox Theater was able to watch the evening's sitcom fare, once Sheen ran out of things to say. Wearing a uniform of the Detroit Tigers, joking about crack cocaine, and displaying his own private harem warmed up the crowd as Sheen knew it would.

Unfortunately, the show was cut short by spontaneous heckling--which Sheen deftly deflected, reportedly telling the audience that he must be a big shot because he has his own app for the iPod. However, most young Detroiters--at least those whose allowance is paid-up--have their own app too, and so many left the auditorium at that point that offstage associates turned up the house lights and many people concluded that the show was over.

On the sidewalk after the show, fans praised the use of the projection TV. "I had no way of knowing that Meijer's had a big sale this week! I'm glad they left it on through the commercials," said one lifelong Sheen fan. Others, however, were not pleased with the show. But even they now understood the subtitle of the nationwide tour: "Refund Is Not an Option."

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